How do you guys deal with a frustrating mother in law?

My in-laws stayed over the weekend with my husband and I. I thought things went fine but today at work I got a call from my mother in law this morning wanting to talk. Thinking she wanted to thank me for a pleasant stay I took the call. She went on to give me a list of things I had done to upset her son and how it breaks her heart to see the way I talk to her son (my husband). Her list included:


1. He whispered something naughty in my ear while we (his parents and us) were out having a drink at a restaurant. I turned around and told him, ';That's rude'; before turning back to the conversation! I honestly thought that was not the time and place and I didn't mean for his parents to overhear, but they did and now they are upset because they saw the look of hurt on his son's face.


She gave me a list of 2 other incidents...all just as meaningless. She also said I came accross as very ';bitchy'; and she did not appreciate how I treated her son. I am at a loss...how should I respond?How do you guys deal with a frustrating mother in law?
Well my mother-in-law is just as *ahem* ';special'; in her thinking, so I don't bother with rational conversation or confrontation.





I would just say how nice of her to call, I value the way she cares about my husband, reassure her I also care very much, then say I've got to run and we must catch up soon.





If she ever tries to continue, I just pass the phone to my husband and let him deal with it.How do you guys deal with a frustrating mother in law?
I have confronted mine and my wife confronted my mom. That is the best way.
Toss her off a balcony, lol. Seriously tell her to kindly shut up and mind her own damn business.
Hmm. I personally think you should let her know why you made that comment. You didn't mean to hurt his feelings. And it's true, i don't think thats an appropriate time to be talking naughty. So let her know that you didn't mean to and that it was just a misunderstanding, if she doesn't seem to lighten up then she has problems.
tell her to mind her own buisness. That this is you're marriage. If you're husband is upset with you he can talk to you about it. You don't need her putting you down. You are a adult.





I have had the same problem with my Mother-in-law. I put down some ground rules of how I was going to be treated and things are going smoothly.
I'd say something like this and then i probably wouldn't say, it, but here goes. I guess he's married to me and not you and we'll just have to deal with it on our own. What i think is she has no business telling you anything, it is your business and its your life and as long as your husband doesn't complain you don't owe her a thing. But then you can say, Oh, i'll be sure to work on that. Then pray they never come again and stay. Anyway, good luck.
';Thank you Mom, Your comments explain alot about his shortcomings in the bedroom.'; Repeat his crude remarks to her as evidence....and next time, have lots of Jack and coke.
Ignore her as much as possible. I have the same problem and no matter how nice I try to be to my mother in law, she always ends up thinking I've ruined her son's life. At least yours talks to you about it- mine goes behind my back and tells my husband she thinks I'm being controlling.





Your husband is more yours than hers now (although you might not want to put it that way to her). He's an adult and he chose to leave his parents and marry you. If there was a real problem between you and your husband, it would be up to him to deal with it, not his mother.





She's the one with the issues here, not you. She may never change, so you might just have to learn to live with it. But hopefully your marriage is completely worth having to deal with little problems along the way. Hang in there- you're definitely not the only woman with a problem mother-in-law.
Tell her that since her son CHOSE to marry you that she needs to take all of this up with him.
Thank her for her comments. Ignore them.





Keep your cool. You do not want to lose control of this situation.


Keep your contact with your MIL as brief as possible. Let your husband know what she said. Tell him you do not feel comfortable having her stay with you, so if they want to visit, they should make hotel accomodations.





That way, YOU are in control of how much, when and where you want to be exposed to the old bag.